johnnycollege

Pardon me and my extended vacation, I was asked to be a double in an upcoming music video for my previously blogged about superstar band and had to accept due to my current unemployment issues. Shoot went well, unfortunately I had to uzzi them after a few takes and place their heads on the four corners of the musical universe so no one else dares to follow their flagrantly homosexual ways of kite making and anorexic jargon. The musical universe is big as shit, hence the hiatus, but overall mission success (cue me on battleship with flag in background).

Last week I actually won something. I never win anything, and this might have been the first time a retarded blackout lead to a positive outcome, though it was far down the line from the actual terror night. Some lady sends me an email telling me I won a writing contest and have 2 free spring break vouchers, then after totally writing it off as bullshit, I remember I did in fact enter such a contest over fall break. I called the number immediately, and boom went the dynamite. I would offer the extra to one of you, my faithful readers, but that would be a dumbass move given my economic “status.” I’m thinking about an online auction off but I did half-drunken promise one to the blind little wheelchair boy at the end of the block that he could rage with me in Jamaica. Fucking half-drunken promises, get me every time. Its like I only want to do nice shit when I’m drunk, weird?

Alot of people are starting to freak out about next year. All during thanksgiving aunts and uncles were hassling me as to how I’m going to make money and get a job and yadiddity fuckin da, and you know what, I realized that I don’t care. It dawned on me that everyone hates work, unless you shoot for Playboy or test new strains of chronic like beubonic weed. So if I’m undoubtedly going to hate work, why work? This is option one. No work. Independent wealth, hot rich soccer moms (see previous posts), or abandonment of possessions and living of the surf instructor life in Bali. Now if by some miracle option 1 doesn’t work, I’m going to put off getting a job as long as I can. Spiritual journeys, year long training trips, extended graduate schooling, marihuana cultivator etc. etc. until there is no more money left in the world, we achieve Obama’s socialist state, and work is no longer a concern of man. I think I got this whole post-graduate shit figured out. Its hard to judge whether or not this two-fold attack on the “employment problem” is going to work, but I think my options are solid and my fallbacks might be better. I’ll keep you posted on Bali, and the cultivation.

Whatever happens happens, and I hope everyone is coming off their tryptophan highs and ready to party the end of the semester off. Its really strange approaching the last semester of college, but the less I think about it the more likely I am to get one of my dream anti-jobs.  So stop thinking, start drinking, and I’ll keep on posting to feed you piranhas. One love bitches.

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